DEMON SLAYER

Is this my responsibility?

Is this my stress?

Is this my sadness?

Is this my joy?

Or is it all second-hand?

It’s a question and metric I have used since day one of operating Digital Rover.

I had no idea how many things in my life weren’t actually mine until I was the only one filling up my calendar. Until I was the one literally writing the contracts that would fill up my time.

It was as if I was coding a new program. A new way of life.

It was honestly shocking.

The more second-hand of everything I removed the faster our company grew, the faster my weight fell off, and the higher my competence, peace, and availability became.

I had space (another blog on that later).

Our attention is the most valuable asset on the planet and we give it away like it’s endless.

We open our phone out of habit and we end up polarized, urgent, and feeling sorry for a stranger that just had to put down their dog.

“What was I looking up again?”

It’s easy to blame social here, but we are not going to do that.

We are going to reflect on our emotions, our habits, and our responsibilities.

Because there is an uncomfortable irony.

The less responsible you are, the more you will be told what to do and where to be.

But here is the good news.

You don’t have to be your own boss, to be your own boss.

As you start to pull away second-hand emotions, you find a deep well of truth in yourself.

Individual responsibility coming to the surface is painful, it’s a lot of soul information.

Don’t try to hide from it, let your first-hand self come to the surface.

You don’t have demons my friend, you just have some stories you need to talk to yourself about.

(or just email me about)

I love talking shit, making jokes, and making money.

But I wanted to be a founder because I felt like I was going to lose myself in a world that didn’t actually belong to me.

Individual responsibility became personal salvation.

You can hold who you are, who you have been, and who you are becoming.

It is where my divide in theology will become clear this year.

You don’t need to be like a deity in a book.

You don’t need to be “more like” somebody.

I learned all my “demons” were just old lies I needed to tell the truth about.

A few actually needed saving from the story they kept telling themselves.

How cool is that? The human ability to go back in time and rescue ourselves by taking care of who we are today.

I am now friends with all of my demons, and they are really good dudes. Just previous versions of myself where I can reflect on my lessons, hardships, failures, and victories.

“Think about your life: childhood, boyhood, youth, old age. Every transformation a kind of dying. Was that so terrible?” - Marcus Aurelius

I do want to warn you though.

Once you get through your first real demon, they may all come in and want to tell you the truth.

The warning is that yes the truth may not be pleasant, but the freedom that is coming may make you feel invincible.

You may feel new.

Don’t bow your head or say a prayer.

Hold your head high and accept what you walked through.

Accept the transformation, the salvation, the renewal.

The retelling of your story from your perspective.

You no longer need algorithms to guide you.

You are your own source code.